I hate being restricted to only the things my body can do

I had kind of a rough day today. I have been dealing with a lot of pain the past few days, and consequently did not get a great deal of sleep. I am a yellow personality...I LOVE to have fun and hang out and be doing things...This week has halted such activities. I have been dealing with the aftermath (and I have never been very good at math) of coming off of medications...to see if I can stay off of them. During that trial period my body does it's own equilibrating....whether I like it or approve it or not. Can I just say that I do NOT approve of this tiredness, I do NOT approve of this pain, and I certainly do NOT approve of having my hopes and wishes set in the form of plans that I make being altered because of the afore mentioned disapprovals that are constantly happening. I WANT to go to Idaho and see my family. I WANT to go to Idaho to visit friends....But as of right now...at 2:30 in the a.m. I don't see myself being able to do any of that....I hurt too badly, and push myself too far REGULARLY. Sometimes, it is okay...this time, it is not okay. I hope people can forgive me when it looks as though I have promised something that I cannot follow through with. It seems as though my life is in an extended stall pattern riddled with "Maybe's". That bothers me, and I am truly apologetic over it. That being said....I will try to go to bed, and make phone calls in the morning. Thanks for your understanding.